Over the Hedge by T Lewis and Michael Fry for August 17, 2020

Dunno about RJ, but I volunteer at my local high school and you couldn’t pay me to go back to being a kid.

Well if forced to go back, and if I could remember not to do it, I would skip eating the baking soda ammonia paste crumbs from off the top of the washing machine. Mom totally had no sympathy with my complaint about the taste. Started this Mom quiz about why I even thought Oreo filling crumbs on the washer would be a good thing to eat.

I never ate the paste but I did love rolling it between my fingers until it got stringy.

Please do not eat the paste …. and the Yellow Snow ;-)

They made the Paste taste like Mint. Of course you were supposed to eat it.

I’d like to go back to 2005 and enjoy watching premium cable channels I loved such as Nicktoons Network and PBS Kids Sprout.

I ate the paste but never drank the koolaid.

Pastry!

I’d only go back to play speed ball (yes, the name of the game matches the name of the lethal combo of heroin and cocaine)—it combined soccer and tag football. Very fun game. One could almost say…addictive?

I think I’d skip sticking a fork in the toaster to get the toast out. Though it did teach me a lesson I’ve never forgotten.

All the time

Looked far more like Junket to me, but I still never ate it.

The trick is to wash out the paste container and fill it with frosting. You too can be the kid that eats paste without the annoying doughy taste. As for being a kid again, no thanks: kids are horribly mean to your face. Adults at least wait until you leave the room.

That’s how kids grow into pasty teenagers.