I disagree, I had nice things and 2 sons… I never put anything up. They learned there was things it was ok to touch and ones that were not. Never had a problem taking them to a store either because they knew not to touch the things on the shelves. And yes I did end up with the first one breaking something, but not because he touched it.
If the material object is really important to you, you put it up beyond the kiddies’ reach (and don’t forget their arms are a lot longer than you’d think). You can teach touch and don’t touch without risking great grandma’s porcelain doll. The rule (at home) with my elder child was, if you can reach it without have to stand on tip toe or using anything to make yourself taller, you may pick it up. If it is up too high to reach flatfooted without artificial aides (and yes he understood that concept at 2), don’t touch it. At Grandma’s house, ask before you touch anything.
It worked well with him.
The second kid was a whole ‘nother kettle of fish and needed different rules (and higher shelves) For one thing the rule had to be stated precisely “flatfooted on the FLOOR”
My second child is one of those children of whom mothers say “If my second had been my first, he’d have been my only”
I think there may be a bit of this going on with Ellie and Lizzie, Michael was a less “busy” toddler than Lizzie is, and what worked with him doesn’t work with her.
My thought was Lizzie feels she has to hide from Mom. My kids would have told me, said they are sorry (and mean it). Then we would talk it over. I don’t think it is good to have your kids afraid to come to you when something goes wrong. Be something they beyond their control or not.
As a professional modeler in those days, I taught our kids that I don’t tear up their toys and so they shouldn’t bother mine. I never had a problem and my daugher turned out to be a good modeler herself.
Lizzie is apparently old enough/smart enough to know there is something special about that pottery bird or she woudn’t be hiding. She knew enough to know she did a wrong thing.
Ouch, no need to yell. I agree with longandgreen. You can teach kids to treat things with respect and show them what they can touch and play with and what they can’t. If they don’t learn this as a child, they’ll grow up with no respect for other people’s things.
Longandgreen, you are 100% right. When I was born friends and neighbors told my grandmother, “well, Evie, you will have to put all your nice little things up off the coffee table now”. She replied, “No I won’t because he will learn to not touch ANY of them”. She was right. That not only applied to me but my younger brother and sister as well…and the same applied when we went into stores and to other people’s homes to visit. That was nearly 80 years ago. We “kids” taught our kids the same. Could this be called “Trickle-down discipline”?
As much yelling as Elly likes to do, I’d be afraid of her, too, so it’s no wonder Lizzie is hiding from her, completely scared out of her wits at being found!
I agree with GretchensMom. That whole shrieking bit is VERY disturbing. Elly is as much to blame in this situation. (And I’ve seen that very same fury in a mother who was Bipolar…). In a similar situation, I think they found me hiding and fallen asleep in a laundry hamper (the old wicker ones with the wooden lid).
longandgreen – You are so right!! Kids that have PARENTS learn what is a toy and what is not a toy. My great-grandmother Lizzie, told me I could play in her china cabinet because she knew I would not break anything and it worked – I never did.
My son knew what he could touch and what he couldn’t - but I never risked anything important to me. That all came back out much later. Now - my house can’t be kid-proofed and my grandson (who is 16 months) has already gotten the idea that as much he’s spoiled, there are certain things he’s not allowed to touch. It helps that his parents are consistent too. And until he’s about 37, I’ll watch him constantly.
I gave my Godmother (who had many kids) my first prize winning work of art -a virgin and child that was done in many layers of fired enamal glass on copper. She chose to display it on her coffee table and her kids promptly broke the enamal off of it with a sharp blow. I was never so wounded as I was then- especially as it was before digital photography and I will never have a record of my work. I have lost many pieces due to lack of technology since too.
Elaine Rosco Premium Member about 13 years ago
I’m surprised at Ellie..it’s not like she’s a new mom?
WebSpider about 13 years ago
Lizzy can barely talk clearly, but apparently she is thinking at a grade 2 level…
Calvin Nelson Nelson Premium Member about 13 years ago
PS: kids are way better than things.
Calvin Nelson Nelson Premium Member about 13 years ago
You can have kids or nice things. Not both. Not for quite some time.
longandgreen about 13 years ago
I disagree, I had nice things and 2 sons… I never put anything up. They learned there was things it was ok to touch and ones that were not. Never had a problem taking them to a store either because they knew not to touch the things on the shelves. And yes I did end up with the first one breaking something, but not because he touched it.
linsonl about 13 years ago
I agree with you, longandgreen, I taught mine what to touch and what not to touch.
jackdohany about 13 years ago
Oh come on, you get out your little tubes of Epoxy, and fix the birdie. That’s what they make epoxy FOR!
Dewsolo about 13 years ago
If the material object is really important to you, you put it up beyond the kiddies’ reach (and don’t forget their arms are a lot longer than you’d think). You can teach touch and don’t touch without risking great grandma’s porcelain doll. The rule (at home) with my elder child was, if you can reach it without have to stand on tip toe or using anything to make yourself taller, you may pick it up. If it is up too high to reach flatfooted without artificial aides (and yes he understood that concept at 2), don’t touch it. At Grandma’s house, ask before you touch anything. It worked well with him. The second kid was a whole ‘nother kettle of fish and needed different rules (and higher shelves) For one thing the rule had to be stated precisely “flatfooted on the FLOOR” My second child is one of those children of whom mothers say “If my second had been my first, he’d have been my only” I think there may be a bit of this going on with Ellie and Lizzie, Michael was a less “busy” toddler than Lizzie is, and what worked with him doesn’t work with her.
MermaidStitcher about 13 years ago
My thought was Lizzie feels she has to hide from Mom. My kids would have told me, said they are sorry (and mean it). Then we would talk it over. I don’t think it is good to have your kids afraid to come to you when something goes wrong. Be something they beyond their control or not.
hippogriff about 13 years ago
As a professional modeler in those days, I taught our kids that I don’t tear up their toys and so they shouldn’t bother mine. I never had a problem and my daugher turned out to be a good modeler herself.
meandkage about 13 years ago
Lizzie is apparently old enough/smart enough to know there is something special about that pottery bird or she woudn’t be hiding. She knew enough to know she did a wrong thing.
Yukoneric about 13 years ago
You can choose to have nice things and you can choose to have children. YOU CAN NOT CHOOSE TO HAVE BOTH!!!!!!!!!
lightenup Premium Member about 13 years ago
Ouch, no need to yell. I agree with longandgreen. You can teach kids to treat things with respect and show them what they can touch and play with and what they can’t. If they don’t learn this as a child, they’ll grow up with no respect for other people’s things.
EarlWash about 13 years ago
Longandgreen, you are 100% right. When I was born friends and neighbors told my grandmother, “well, Evie, you will have to put all your nice little things up off the coffee table now”. She replied, “No I won’t because he will learn to not touch ANY of them”. She was right. That not only applied to me but my younger brother and sister as well…and the same applied when we went into stores and to other people’s homes to visit. That was nearly 80 years ago. We “kids” taught our kids the same. Could this be called “Trickle-down discipline”?
Gretchen's Mom about 13 years ago
As much yelling as Elly likes to do, I’d be afraid of her, too, so it’s no wonder Lizzie is hiding from her, completely scared out of her wits at being found!
WebSpider about 13 years ago
I agree with GretchensMom. That whole shrieking bit is VERY disturbing. Elly is as much to blame in this situation. (And I’ve seen that very same fury in a mother who was Bipolar…). In a similar situation, I think they found me hiding and fallen asleep in a laundry hamper (the old wicker ones with the wooden lid).
lindz.coop Premium Member about 13 years ago
I think it’s already “game over.”
longandgreen – You are so right!! Kids that have PARENTS learn what is a toy and what is not a toy. My great-grandmother Lizzie, told me I could play in her china cabinet because she knew I would not break anything and it worked – I never did.
georgiiii about 13 years ago
My son knew what he could touch and what he couldn’t - but I never risked anything important to me. That all came back out much later. Now - my house can’t be kid-proofed and my grandson (who is 16 months) has already gotten the idea that as much he’s spoiled, there are certain things he’s not allowed to touch. It helps that his parents are consistent too. And until he’s about 37, I’ll watch him constantly.
vldazzle about 13 years ago
I gave my Godmother (who had many kids) my first prize winning work of art -a virgin and child that was done in many layers of fired enamal glass on copper. She chose to display it on her coffee table and her kids promptly broke the enamal off of it with a sharp blow. I was never so wounded as I was then- especially as it was before digital photography and I will never have a record of my work. I have lost many pieces due to lack of technology since too.