Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for August 15, 2015

Transcript:

the winners these comic strips received the most votes from our readers. they will be featured every day in the comics section of your newspaper. pre-classic peanuts violet: today no one remembers, but it was originally i, violet, who yanked the football away as charlie brown ran to kick it. violet: yet somehow over the years lucy, the fuss-budget, the drama queen, usurped my place, leaving me a footnote, a cipher in a billion dollar franchise. boy: what a neurotic embittered little girl. violet: i should have been a star! doltish duck duck: hey - do goats really eat tin cans? goat: no. duck: hey - do chickens really stare at the sky during a rainstorm with their beaks open until they drown? chicken: no. goat: what a dolt. oop: hey - are rhino horns really an aphrodisiac - ow that hurt fanky malloon the clown genius fanky: now i take the balloons and - skwik skwik fanky: viola! i call it "pieta"! kid: ooh! kid: now do "the disasters of war" fanky: sure!