Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for July 18, 2014
July 14, 2014
July 21, 2014
Transcript:
summer weeding guide boorish ivy - if ignored will quickly grow into the shape of unwanted lawn objects (flamingo, chevy up on blocks, any large abandoned appliance). especially unnerving for those under autocratic neighborhood associations. dandelion 1: tie his shoelaces, together. dandelion 2: pure evil! dandelion.org - densely intertwined root system creates a sentient hive-mind prone to acts of petty maliciousness. sphincterwort - (methanium) an en-tirely unnecessary evolutionary devel-opment. too nasty to even draw. touchyweed - oversensitive to the needs of rootbound americans. runs screaming to the aclu when pulled up. rakeseed - step on it and the stalk flies up and hits you in the face! nature at its most playful! farmer: owch.
Sisyphos almost 10 years ago
Touchyweed is the evolutionary offshoot of the Mandrake, it would seem. I think I won’t be doing any weeding this summer (my pretty-urban condo has a lawn service for its tiny bit of lawn).
puddlesplatt almost 10 years ago
you forgot crab grass, or crappygrass, whatever.
louieglutz almost 10 years ago
if you plant rakeseed correctly it will not fly up. (points down). but i think my wife plants it upside down on purpose.