We all seem to be expressing the same frustration! We’re surrounded with people who have NO CLUE how to parent their children and so, rather than risking a little conflict, they kowtow to the child’s every whim, making him/her the Supreme Ruler of the family - and thus teaching him that he/she ALWAYS gets his/her way and can use manipulation and threats to ensure that they stay in power. Adult life then has some VERY rude awakenings in store for them.
Tantrums are the child’s DESPERATE PLEA for you show - lovingly - that YOU, THE PARENT, are the authority in the family and to correct inappropriate, rude, selfish and sometimes even evil behavior so that it does not become part of their character. Discipline with love! This proves to the child that you love them but reinforces that the rules have to be obeyed. If you just knee-jerk react out of anger, the child doesn’t learn the right lessons (“sometimes Dad can be an ogre…”). We wonder how come SO MANY of today’s children are selfish, arrogant, pig-headed, violent, demanding little terrorists in training!
…And, yes twright64, sometimes it comes to that. But you do so explaining to the child beforehand that, “I’m so very sorry that YOU HAVE SPECIFICALLY ASKED ME TO PUNISH YOU through your disobedience! I would love to just have good, pleasant times with you but WHEN YOU BREAK THE RULES, YOU MUST PAY THE PENALTY OF THE CONSEQUENCES!”. The biggest challenge is to then be consistent! EVERY time they break the rules, the consequences have to be the same or even more severe so that “it just isn’t worth it” to try to break the rules anymore. The discipline has to be SO unpleasant that, the next time they’re tempted to break the rules, it reminds them of what is in store for them if they do and they make the WISE decision NOT TO.
I agree with what treBsdrawkcaB said!
My (now 20 year old) son, when he was about 2, and not talking yet, would bite people. Every time he did it when I was around, I would march to where I kept the paddle, and spank his upper thigh. (Otherwise, I would have had to remove the diaper, because it was obvious that he needed more than just a sound effect.) It got to the point where he’d bite me, and then run to point at the paddle. (Which I kept on top of a wall-mounted clock - too high for him to reach even with a chair.) He knew Mom would spank him for that offense, and I did.
Now he is a fine, trustworthy, young gentleman.
I always found the counting method helped; “If you don’t… by the time I count to …, I will … “. FOLLOW THROUGH FIRMLY and they learn “Mom’s counting; she must be serious!
I used to count DOWN from however long I wanted to give the child to obey. They learn fairly soon that there are numbers after 5, but it takes longer to learn there are numbers below zero.
margueritem over 14 years ago
Dave, another fool in the role of parent…
LittleYipScream over 14 years ago
Ryan must be one scary brat.
Yukoneric over 14 years ago
Walk off, the kid will quit screaming.
WickedCrazy over 14 years ago
Nimrod!
Trisha_Evenstar over 14 years ago
boarding school till he’s 18
MisngNOLA over 14 years ago
Medical experiments for the litte bugger I say.
treBsdrawkcaB over 14 years ago
We all seem to be expressing the same frustration! We’re surrounded with people who have NO CLUE how to parent their children and so, rather than risking a little conflict, they kowtow to the child’s every whim, making him/her the Supreme Ruler of the family - and thus teaching him that he/she ALWAYS gets his/her way and can use manipulation and threats to ensure that they stay in power. Adult life then has some VERY rude awakenings in store for them.
Tantrums are the child’s DESPERATE PLEA for you show - lovingly - that YOU, THE PARENT, are the authority in the family and to correct inappropriate, rude, selfish and sometimes even evil behavior so that it does not become part of their character. Discipline with love! This proves to the child that you love them but reinforces that the rules have to be obeyed. If you just knee-jerk react out of anger, the child doesn’t learn the right lessons (“sometimes Dad can be an ogre…”). We wonder how come SO MANY of today’s children are selfish, arrogant, pig-headed, violent, demanding little terrorists in training!
treBsdrawkcaB over 14 years ago
…And, yes twright64, sometimes it comes to that. But you do so explaining to the child beforehand that, “I’m so very sorry that YOU HAVE SPECIFICALLY ASKED ME TO PUNISH YOU through your disobedience! I would love to just have good, pleasant times with you but WHEN YOU BREAK THE RULES, YOU MUST PAY THE PENALTY OF THE CONSEQUENCES!”. The biggest challenge is to then be consistent! EVERY time they break the rules, the consequences have to be the same or even more severe so that “it just isn’t worth it” to try to break the rules anymore. The discipline has to be SO unpleasant that, the next time they’re tempted to break the rules, it reminds them of what is in store for them if they do and they make the WISE decision NOT TO.
bald over 14 years ago
yeah brat, for that tantrum there will be no ice cream until after dinnier
coffeeturtle over 14 years ago
oh! the insanity! :-)
Smiley Rmom over 14 years ago
I agree with what treBsdrawkcaB said! My (now 20 year old) son, when he was about 2, and not talking yet, would bite people. Every time he did it when I was around, I would march to where I kept the paddle, and spank his upper thigh. (Otherwise, I would have had to remove the diaper, because it was obvious that he needed more than just a sound effect.) It got to the point where he’d bite me, and then run to point at the paddle. (Which I kept on top of a wall-mounted clock - too high for him to reach even with a chair.) He knew Mom would spank him for that offense, and I did. Now he is a fine, trustworthy, young gentleman.
LindaTea over 14 years ago
I always found the counting method helped; “If you don’t… by the time I count to …, I will … “. FOLLOW THROUGH FIRMLY and they learn “Mom’s counting; she must be serious!
lfanterickson over 14 years ago
I used to count DOWN from however long I wanted to give the child to obey. They learn fairly soon that there are numbers after 5, but it takes longer to learn there are numbers below zero.
Ashrey over 14 years ago
What we parents do and no, we’re not fools, Marg.