Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for February 06, 2013

I think it’s time for another round, Bob.

oprah is a great person. but, if she is a monarch, she doesn’t have a hereditary successor.

What would brother Bob’s Nixon impersonation look like in a powdered wig, hmmm?

I was making a batch of chicken salad when it occurred to me: Do you know the biggest difference between a lawyer and an onion?

Nobody cries while cutting up a lawyer.

And rule by a benevolent dictator is still rule by a dictator. that’s the fatal flaw in the “Oprah as monarch” scheme: you’d better hope that she’s wise as well as compassionate, because you’d be ceding control of your life over to her.

“Democracy is a BAD form of government, All the others are so much worse”

In England and also in the Bahamas, when lawyers appear in court, they are still required to wear robes and wigs. It think maybe this helps keep them from being to full of themselves.

Oh, no, go with it!

If Orca is made queen, does it mean we each get a car?

Oh, I wish…!!

Good Queen Oprah would find you a new job, Bob – maybe straightening out her shoe closet.

I think the rule of Queen Oprah would actually be very democratic. Everything would be decided by the Nielsen ratings. Direct democracy in its purest form!

The Sun is also a WarriorLeslie Fish © 1986Two men walked on the beach in the sun.One left footprints, the other left none.One was a man who no man obeys;The other a god from the ancient days.“Look,” said the man, “how my kind make war.I summonned you here to ask what for.”“For wealth or land,” the god replies,“For life, or freedom, or some king’s lies.”CHORUS:“The sun is also a warrior.Knowledge can also destroy.Nor can the kindest will,Preserve you from the kill.Not all of wisdom brings joy.”“Four of those five,” the first one said,Are not enough to appease the dead.To save my world all this strife must cease,So now I bid you to conjure peace."The god said “Yes. Though it grieves me sore,For I was also a god of war,And I remember what you forget,Four of those five you may still regret.”CHORUSHe raised his voice and he raised his hand.All strife stopped at the god’s command.No voice ventured an angry word,No hand struck and no weapon stirred.In time, the man called the old god back.“Look,” he cried, “what my people lack!One lord rules over all the earth,And we’re all his slaves from the hour of birth.”CHORUS“Look, he owns all wealth, and he owns all land,We starve and die under his command.He speaks the truth and he gives us peace,But all that I hope for is our release.”The old god said, “This is what you willed.For only thus is your wish fulfilled.War’s five sources I took away,Yet I will give four of them back today.”CHORUSHe raised his hand and his voice once more,And all the world overturned in war.And when the last of those fires let fall,There was no lord in the world at all.“Go rebuild now,” the old god said,“Feed the living and bury the dead,And remember this when you speak of war,And think upon what is worth fighting for.”CHORUS

You mean lawyers now have jobs?

WIth a queen in power, this country would be FABULOUS!

I’m with Shakespeare, let’s kill all the lawyers. We can start with the ones that look like Nixon.

or even, Dabney Coleman.

If he’s a litigator, he’d be out of a job. But whom do you think draws up complex wills and trusts?

I have NEVER seen an Ophra broadcast. Does that make me weird? Daytime afternoons is reading time.

Imagine a world without lawyers, and their bastard children – politicians. What a wonderful world it would be.

I’m sick of Oprah. We’ve had 25 years of her. Yes, she’s one of our nicer celebrities and one hell of a businesswoman. But as far as I know, she never even graduated from college. There’s a lot of things she doesn’t know about, things a smart 5th grader knows. That by itself is enough to disqualify her. Same argument goes for Sarah Palin.

All hail Queen Oprah!!!

Considering that that line comes when several characters are discussing how to install a totalitarian state, she or any other absolute monarch might just issue such a proclamation.