Big Nate by Lincoln Peirce for January 12, 2014
Cupid: "Dang it!" Nate: "Jacob! Emma! Can I profile you for the school paper?" Jacob: "Us?" Nate: "Sure! Now that Mark and Tess have split up, YOU guys are the longest-lasting couple in P.S. 38!" Jacob: "We ARE? Wow!" Nate: "I know! Who woulda think it, right?" Emma: "Uh... What do you mean?" Nate: "Well... Just that back in the beginning, it didn't exactly look PROMISING, y'know?" Nate: "Jacob, you only asked Emma because JILLIAN rejected you FIRST!" Nate: "And Emma, you only said yes because you dream man, ANTHONY, was UNAVAILABLE!" Nate: "So! How've you crazy kids made this work?" Nate: "Maybe instead of a 'couple profile', I'll do an article about dysfunctional relationships." Francis: "That's a good topic for you."