9 Chickweed Lane by Brooke McEldowney for December 28, 2003
"There goes that Benson girl. I hear she has the morals of a hyena and is a disgrace to her whole family." "She throws herself at boys and keeps with a bad crowd... And her school marks are appalling." "You mark my words, before long the world will turn its back on her, and she'll end up in degradation. Shame and ruin, with nobody to thank but herself." "Well, I suppose it's possible that in spite of her character flaws, everything will turn out right, and she'll enjoy a fulfilling life full of love and happiness and personal inner peace." "I don't know how you could even think such a thing." "I guess I'm just mean."