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Oct 7, 2011
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Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling
The Adventures of...
DEFINITELY-NOT-GAY-MAN
DNGM
Definitely-Not-Gay-Man: This costume is totally NOT GAY! 

Definitely-Not-Gay-Man, in his secret identity persona as Evangelical preacher Rodney Strate, is searching the internet for gay porn to preach against, when - 
Secretary: Pastor Strate!
Pastor: Oh!
CLOSE WINDOW
Secretary: A gay bar has opened downtown!
Pastor: Hmm...this is something I'd better investigate as...
...Definitely-Not-Gay-Man!
Definitely-Not-Gay-Man: Just as I feared! It's a den of depravity! 
Oh, no! It's HIM! 
My arch nemesis! 
Definitely-Not-Gay-Man: VERY-VERY-GAY-MAN!!
Very-Very-Gay-Man: Hi, there, Deffy! I'm here looking for some cute guys! 
Definitely-Not-Gay-Man: V.V.G.M., don't choose this sinful lifestyle! 
Very-Very-Gay-Man: Choose? Honey, I didn't choose to be gay! I've ALWAYS been gay! 
Definitely-Not-Gay-Man: NO! Homosexuality is a CHOICE! 
Very-Very-Gay-Man: So you choose to be a heterosexual? 
Definitely-Not-Gay-Man: DAMN STRAIGHT! 
Very-Very-Gay-Man: Then you're saying you have gay urges, but you CHOOSE to resist them! 
Definitely-Not-Gay-Man: NO! I don't have ANY gay urges! 
Very-Very-Gay-Man: Then how is your heterosexuality a choice? 
Definitely-Not-Gay-Man: There! I hope I proved to you that I COULD have been a homosexual but chose not to! 
Very-Very-Gay-Man: Right. Oh, I can't do next Saturday -- my parents will be in town. 
Next: Scheduling Mayhem! 
Definitely-Not-Gay-Man: Hmm...I can't do it Friday -- I've got a Defend-Marriage Pancake Supper...
Oct 21, 2011
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