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Pearls Before Swine

By Stephan Pastis
160,052
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Oct 27, 2012
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Rat:  Good evening, my fellow citizens...if you could, please shut your pieholes.
Goat:  What now?
Rat:  Unsatisfied with the current slate of nominees, I, Rat, am declaring my candidacy for President of the United States.
Goat:  You? What's your big issue?
Rat:  Building a thousand-foot-tall wall along the border to keep out all these illegal immigrants.
Goat:  You're gonna build a thousand-foot-tall wall all the way from California to Texas to keep our Mexicans?
Rat:  No. From Washington to Maine to keep out Canadians.
Goat:  Suddenly, my voter apathy is growing.
Rat:  Hey! We don't need any more Justin Biebers sneaking across the border!
Pig:  He's from Canada? I knew I loved the Canadianese for a reason.
Oct 29, 2012
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