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Pearls Before Swine

By Stephan Pastis
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May 17, 2003
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"What's that thing?"
 "Looks like some kind of bug."
 "Excuse me? 'Some kind of bug?'...I, Sir, am a 'Lepidus Souzaranti,' a rare and exotic bug protected under the Federal Endangered Species Act."
 "What I'm handing you now is a list of federal, state, and local agencies you will need to contact before you may resume your loathsome construction project."
 "Those agencies will perform an exhaustive, eighteen-month review of the situation and outline the necessary steps you must take to protect my delicate habitat."
 "Of course, what's a few months' delay and some cost overruns when it comes to saving a Lepidus Souzaranti?"
 "CRRRUNCH."
 "I wish all my problems were that simple."
May 19, 2003
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