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Matt Bors

8,251
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Jul 2, 2008
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"Competitive Eating" has blurred the line between athleticism and life-threatening gluttony. 
Man: There is HONOR in nearly rupturing your tummy for money! 
Spring training
20th century sports are on their way out. Today's youth look up to redneck Olympians, Keg stand champs and pie eating gods. 
Parent: Stop chewing your food, dear. Kobayashi would be ASHAMED! 
Frosted Mini Dogs! 
Is the guy at the end of the bar inhaling crabcakes a famous athlete exercising or just a drunken slob? 
Man: WOW! Look at him go! 
SCARF!
Sadly, we must now ask.
Man: C-can I have your autograph? 
Drunk Man: Wha-?! You my wife's lawyer? I told her I'm not signing NOTHIN!
Jul 7, 2008
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