Luann by Greg Evans


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  1. ChihuahuaMama

    ChihuahuaMama said, almost 4 years ago

    Don’t forget to allow time for milk and cookies left at most houses.

  2. PonyToast

    PonyToast said, almost 4 years ago

    Santa is a timelord. His sleigh is a TARDIS.

  3. oldcomicsfan

    oldcomicsfan said, almost 4 years ago

    I think Santa Claus is a woman….I hate to be the one to defy a sacred myth, but I believe he’s a she. Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off!

    For starters, the vast majority of men don’t even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves. On this count alone, I’m convinced Santa is a woman.

    Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the bag.

    Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and strapped to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen’s rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist.

    Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he’d still have transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions.

    Other reasons why Santa can’t possibly be a man:

    Men can’t pack a bag.
    Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.
    Men would feel their masculinity is threatened…having to be seen with all those elves.
    Men don’t answer their mail.
    Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described even in jest as anything remotely resembling a “bowlful of jelly.”
    Men aren’t interested in stockings unless somebody’s wearing them.
    Having to do the Ho Ho Ho thing would seriously inhibit their ability to pick up women.
    Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.

    I can buy the fact that other mythical holiday characters are men………

    Father Time shows up once a year unshaven and looking ominous — definite guy.
    Cupid flies around carrying weapons.
    Uncle Sam is a politician who likes to point fingers.

    Any one of these individuals could pass the testosterone screening test. But not St. Nick. Not a chance.

  4. TEMPLO S.U.D.

    TEMPLO S.U.D. said, almost 4 years ago

    Did Quill give the parcel to Santa on his sleigh of six white boomers? (I’m not Aussie, but I learned of the “Six White Boomers” Aussie Xmas song at a Xmas party last year or the year before; there was an Aussie in my LDS ward.)

  5. Angelalex242

    Angelalex242 said, almost 4 years ago

    …Well, Luann does have reason to think it’s for her…her boyfriend, and all. But it might be some kind of board game, where it is indeed for a family, because Luann couldn’t, no matter how much she wants, use it alone.

  6. Mikeyj

    Mikeyj said, almost 4 years ago

    It’s a box of Kangaroo steaks with Koala balls on the side

  7. Mikeyj

    Mikeyj said, almost 4 years ago

    But, on the serious side, my guess is he sent them the finished recordings of the music he and Luann did together.

  8. The Old Wolf

    The Old Wolf said, almost 4 years ago

    There’s the 16-year-old!

  9. firedome

    firedome said, almost 4 years ago

    if takahashi-sama ever needs a temp artist, i know who i’d suggest

  10. ChihuahuaMama

    ChihuahuaMama said, almost 4 years ago

    Too bad, they were actually quite amusing. (In a good way!)

  11. legaleagle48

    legaleagle48 said, almost 4 years ago


    @oldcomicsfan OK, then, if Santa’s a woman, explain MRS. Claus!

  12. Ken  Hense

    Ken Hense said, almost 4 years ago

    Hey – There’s no Santa. Geez – I learned that in HIGH SCHOOL

  13. blunebottle

    blunebottle said, almost 4 years ago

    & Leviticus…..the way I heard that one, it ends this way, once you figure out the G-forces: “If Santa ever did exist, he’s dead, now.”

  14. blunebottle

    blunebottle said, almost 4 years ago


    You missed the one obvious clue…..San Francisco, San Fernando, San Bernardino- all men, right? Santa Barbara, Santa Maria, Santa Clara- all women……you get the picture.

  15. Angelalex242

    Angelalex242 said, almost 4 years ago

    By this point, Santa Teleports. Chimneys be damned, he just teleports in front of the fireplace because all the children expect him to. (As if he came down the chimney)

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