The definition of violence is not exact. The statement about being brought up in a violent household rang my bell just a little. My mother always said they were “discussing” things aggressively when she and my dad would argue about things. Their marriage lasted 52 years before my dad passed away. I liked to think it was like two dogs fighting—just leave them alone, if you try and stop it you get dog bit.
Too much of this business of trying to always be polite and correct goes on as it is. The human machine is just an elevated animal with all the instincts passed from thousands of years of experience.