Eek!

By Scott Nickel
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Do you like penguins, unicorns, puppies and rainbows? Then don't read EEK! EEK! has nothing to do with that junk. But if you like cadavers, mutants, chainsaws, zombies, cockroaches, telemarketers and other vermin, you've come to the right place.

Caution: EEK! is highly flammable. Keep away from heat, sparks, or open flame. Use only with adequate ventilation. Prolonged exposure may produce bulging eyes, decreased night vision, dizziness, confusion, atypical facial pain, personality changes, itching without a rash, splotchy complexion, excessive thirst, insomnia, and bloating. EEK! is known to cause insanity in laboratory rats.