Close to Home by John McPherson for April 06, 2024

Crystal (golf) ball. She can really psychically read a green!

They say she has foresight

Don’t forget to tell him about the windmill.

And then it hits the water hole.

At the next hole, he consults a palm reader who can tell him what’s wrong with his grip.

She needs to update her sign…“Read the Tea Leaves, Read the Greens.”

Good one.

… and then it lands in the sand trap! I foresee a Double Bogey on this hole!

That’ll be twenty dollars!

And then it goes into a little hole!

The newest thing in analytics .

“It’s better than most.”

Bleeb, you must not be very good at reading putts if your player had to bring in a consultant.

At the 18th hole, he consults a phrenologist, who reads bumps on one’s head. No help.

That is better than stomping up and down your line to judge the break. Whatever works!

And she calls herself a holey one?

An uncanny caddy

I was going to see a psychic one time. I knocked on the door and she said, “who is it?” So I left

….then you toss your clubs in the water trap out of frustration.

Then I see you swearing…

It seemed to be getting larger and larger, and I couldn’t understand why. Then suddenly it hit me.

This reminds me of something I just read about the eclipse. Some whack job is saying that certain signs of the Zodiac will be more affected by the eclipse than others. Mine is allegedly one of those, so out of curiosity, I read what she had to say, and it was laughable, as I knew it would be. I wonder how anyone can fall for that nonsense.

If you put dimples on a crystal ball, does that allow you to see further?

She’s not a psychic, she can just read the green.

I see him breaking his putter a few shots later.

It is nice to be able to accurately “read” the breaks in a green but it’s even harder to hit the ball just right to take advantage of them and not be short or long.

I predict a not so good yelp review for her