“Thanks for inviting me back to do a signing at your bookstore, Lillian. Can’t understand why no customers showed up. You still owe me for all these unsold books, though.”
Can we now please put an end to this month-long exercise in self-back-patting by a selection of Batiuk’s thinly-disguised creative avatars…before the biggest self-insert of them all shows up to hawk his latest Dead St. Lisa tomes?
“No, I’m not surprised you wrote this book while he was still alive. And I’m not surprised you took ninety years to get a publisher. I’m just surprised that reading the manuscript didn’t kill him first.”
Yes, a book signing by an unknown at a small used bookstore location that I’m sure is in violation of numerous regulations for a retail shop must have been wildly successful.
“Well, yes, Harry, but that wasn’t my question. My question is why was that allowed to be put in the book in the first place. Didn’t the publisher or an editor have any questions about it?”
“Oh! Ha ha ha, you poor dear sweet child. Ha ha, mercy. Editors. Hah. Listen, Lillian, when you’re someone like me, they’ll just print anything you write, no questions asked. Somehow, enough people keep buying my drivel, but nobody cares! It’s a sweet life, let me tell you. People just remember me as being some blowhard from forty-some years ago and say to themselves ‘oh, yeah, I remember that blowhard, he was a blowhard!’, and they never stop asking for more. They’ll even go out of their way to insult anyone else who calls me out for being a blowhard. There’s people out there who buy this trash and defend this trash by outright insulting other people who call it out for being trash. It’s great!”
J.J. O'Malley 25 days ago
“Thanks for inviting me back to do a signing at your bookstore, Lillian. Can’t understand why no customers showed up. You still owe me for all these unsold books, though.”
Can we now please put an end to this month-long exercise in self-back-patting by a selection of Batiuk’s thinly-disguised creative avatars…before the biggest self-insert of them all shows up to hawk his latest Dead St. Lisa tomes?
Bill Thompson 25 days ago
“No, I’m not surprised you wrote this book while he was still alive. And I’m not surprised you took ninety years to get a publisher. I’m just surprised that reading the manuscript didn’t kill him first.”
comixbomix 25 days ago
He’s a ghost writer…
French Persons Premium Member 25 days ago
“John Philip Sousa”: “This book is dedicated to ‘Lisa’s Story’, the single-most greatest book and film adaptation in human history!”
fuzzbucket Premium Member 25 days ago
Not if Sousa was descended from Nostradamus.
Gent 25 days ago
It’s called writing foreword. Ha ha ha ha.
Robert Nowall Premium Member 25 days ago
I know of a guy running around with that name. Think he’s a descendant, but I’m not sure.
papajim545 25 days ago
They should rename this strip Lillian
Atewl 25 days ago
Where’s Batton Thomas?
rbrt6956 25 days ago
A foreword written by a person who died 90 years before publication of the book? You’re safe. I don’t think anyone will catch on.
rockyridge1977 25 days ago
Lying rascal……
Kidon Ha-Shomer 25 days ago
All musicians use a ‘fake book’ now and again, Harry.
ladykat 25 days ago
Pretty obvious.
Mopman 25 days ago
Yes, a book signing by an unknown at a small used bookstore location that I’m sure is in violation of numerous regulations for a retail shop must have been wildly successful.
tcayer 25 days ago
So these authors are doing signings in a USED bookstore?
lemonbaskt 25 days ago
today crankshaft decides to plant cheatgrass
Where's The Pizza Box Monster? 25 days ago
Hey, I wrote a book too! It’s an in-depth recount of every time Dead St. Lisa visited Montoni’s. When’s my book signing?
Out of the Past 25 days ago
This was a little chilling. I think we’re watching ‘same story syndrome’ in real time.
gammaguy 25 days ago
“Is it obvious that I faked it?”
Doesn’t have to be a fake. He could have found someone else with the same name.
I once met Nikita Khrushchev, but he was unrelated to the famous one. He wasn’t even born in Russia.
Brent Rosenthal Premium Member 25 days ago
He was first going to use Bach
Foob 25 days ago
Final panel: That’s what she said.
MuddyUSA Premium Member 25 days ago
Share is Crankshaft……….again?
oakie817 25 days ago
still no Crankshaft?
WilliamVollmer 25 days ago
Gee, Harry, a foreward by a bandmaster who’s been gone since before you were born, a fake?
wherescrankshaft 25 days ago
“Is it obvious that I faked it?”
“Well, yes, Harry, but that wasn’t my question. My question is why was that allowed to be put in the book in the first place. Didn’t the publisher or an editor have any questions about it?”
“Oh! Ha ha ha, you poor dear sweet child. Ha ha, mercy. Editors. Hah. Listen, Lillian, when you’re someone like me, they’ll just print anything you write, no questions asked. Somehow, enough people keep buying my drivel, but nobody cares! It’s a sweet life, let me tell you. People just remember me as being some blowhard from forty-some years ago and say to themselves ‘oh, yeah, I remember that blowhard, he was a blowhard!’, and they never stop asking for more. They’ll even go out of their way to insult anyone else who calls me out for being a blowhard. There’s people out there who buy this trash and defend this trash by outright insulting other people who call it out for being trash. It’s great!”
EXCALABUR 24 days ago
I wish you people would accept this strip like it is or don’t come back even though it is your right to be crybabies.