My husband and I order “2 black coffees” and the person ALWAYS responds, “Would you like cream and sugar with that?” We repeat our order and the guy responds the same way! Then we say, “We drink our coffee black—that means no cream or sugar.” The guy looks at us as if we are speaking a foreign language because he can’t conceive coffee that isn’t choked with additives.
I overheard a gal asking for a decaf with skim milk. Her companion looked at her in mock horror and asked “Why bother?” then turned to the barista and said, “Just give her a glass of warm water.” After a couple of playful swats, the girl got her decaf and skim milk. I agree with him, though. Why bother? I’ve never seen the point to decaf coffee.
When I go to Harvey’s Hamburgers (Canada) I always order a “boring burger” Cheeseburger with relish, nothing else. The staff is used to me ordering that, and knows what I want. A&W? Mozza Burger, onion rings, and root beer. Heaven on earth.
Piffil, rookies. My tea order, "Black Tea from the Assam Provence, picked by left-handed, Red headed virgins, from south facing slopes, prepared in ph 7.2 water at 98 C and steeped for precisely 4.5 minutes.
The barista grew up watching reruns of The Bob Newhart show, right? In one episode Bob and some of the others go out for ice cream, to a place that specializes in elaborate sundaes (all with cute names, of course) that are loaded with multiple scoops of ice cream and multiple toppings. Bob won’t play the game and just orders a dish of plain vanilla, so his waiter (John Ritter, I believe) and a couple of others point to him and chant, “Single scooper, single scooper, this man is a party pooper!”
stairsteppublishing about 1 year ago
Ben is not an ‘old Fuddy Duddy’, he is a purist.
davidob about 1 year ago
Does that make him the purest of purists?
davidob about 1 year ago
Be(e)n there, done that.
bigger Nate about 1 year ago
I’m with Ben on this one
johnjoyce about 1 year ago
My husband and I order “2 black coffees” and the person ALWAYS responds, “Would you like cream and sugar with that?” We repeat our order and the guy responds the same way! Then we say, “We drink our coffee black—that means no cream or sugar.” The guy looks at us as if we are speaking a foreign language because he can’t conceive coffee that isn’t choked with additives.
Dani Rice about 1 year ago
My dad always claimed that if the Good Lord wanted cream and sugar in coffee He’d have put it in the beans.
Dani Rice about 1 year ago
I overheard a gal asking for a decaf with skim milk. Her companion looked at her in mock horror and asked “Why bother?” then turned to the barista and said, “Just give her a glass of warm water.” After a couple of playful swats, the girl got her decaf and skim milk. I agree with him, though. Why bother? I’ve never seen the point to decaf coffee.
MC4802 Premium Member about 1 year ago
When a StarBucks is the only coffee shop and I really need some “coffee” I’ll have to try to place this order and see what type of reaction I get!
Gameguy49 Premium Member about 1 year ago
I like the taste of coffee, not any other weird flavors. Flavoring has always been just for those who don’t really like the taste of coffee.
DawnQuinn1 about 1 year ago
When I go to Harvey’s Hamburgers (Canada) I always order a “boring burger” Cheeseburger with relish, nothing else. The staff is used to me ordering that, and knows what I want. A&W? Mozza Burger, onion rings, and root beer. Heaven on earth.
rickmac1937 Premium Member about 1 year ago
That’s why I go to McDs for my dollar coffee not 4+ coffee at those places. Coffees coffee
I was FRAMED!!!!!! about 1 year ago
Starbucks hates it when I ask for a ‘pour-over large coffee, explaining that I don’t speak ‘Starbucks.’
Bruce1253 about 1 year ago
Piffil, rookies. My tea order, "Black Tea from the Assam Provence, picked by left-handed, Red headed virgins, from south facing slopes, prepared in ph 7.2 water at 98 C and steeped for precisely 4.5 minutes.
cuzinron47 about 1 year ago
I’m surprised he didn’t say “We don’t serve your kind here”.
KEA about 1 year ago
do people placing complicated orders like that know how dweeby they sound?
Cary Rodda Premium Member about 1 year ago
Don’t look so smug, Opal. Ben’s coffee is cheaper and less calories.
paullp Premium Member about 1 year ago
The barista grew up watching reruns of The Bob Newhart show, right? In one episode Bob and some of the others go out for ice cream, to a place that specializes in elaborate sundaes (all with cute names, of course) that are loaded with multiple scoops of ice cream and multiple toppings. Bob won’t play the game and just orders a dish of plain vanilla, so his waiter (John Ritter, I believe) and a couple of others point to him and chant, “Single scooper, single scooper, this man is a party pooper!”
Comics Canuck about 1 year ago
Ben to barista: “I can take my business elsewhere – anywhere else.”
heathcliff2 about 1 year ago
Like in politics, the man is being smeared because he will be paying less money for services he wants, not paying more money for unwanted services.
pbr50138 about 1 year ago
I’ve never been a tea or coffee drinker.