Close to Home by John McPherson for May 05, 2020

If you start clearing the timer. Maybe you can keep mom off your back.

In a few years, no hesitation at all sticking her in the home.

“Yeah, but I kept the power bill down!”

“Children in India are eating cold food.”

Q 17th letter of the alphabet. Things are heating up. I wonder what that means? QMAP.pub WWG1WGA Thanks John

That’s an hour less of electricity used to power the microwave. Show some gratitude, lady.

Thought that was a wife joke at first.

Well, now we know how it turned out for all those starving kids in China who would “be happy to get our spinach, cauliflower or liver and onions.”

When my wife was a kid and did not want to eat supper her mother said “Kids are starving in Africa” My future wife said “Then send it to them”

Double click. It works!

Son: “Dad! Dad! Guess what. I saved money by running home behind the bus!”Father: “Spendthrift! You should have run home behind a taxi.”

Wow accurate description

Not worth the fight.

one time, I stopped the microwave at 1:12 and it got revenge later because I thought it was the time and made me late for an appointment

Whoa, is that a manipulation of the space/time continuum? So you’re saying that when I punch in…say…two hours on the microwave timer, then DELETE it, that I will move forward two hours in time? Or, do I bank that time to be used later? Sweet whistlin’ Geronimo, I’m gonna be rich!

Has anyone else noticed the the mistake?

I kind of like it. I may use it.

Haha, my mother is always leaving time on our microwave too because she doesn’t hit cancel twice. I don’t worry about losing time, but it is annoying that I can’t see what time it is at a glance. :p

Well, now we know: John’s characters are as dumb as they are homely.

no nukes in my house- annoys company when they have to use the stove. Not that lazy yet, and still don’t trust the radiation risk.