Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for September 26, 2019

And finally, "Security CATCHA: “I am not a robot, or a human”."

Always use incorrect answers for security questions, that way no one can guess them. For example, his real favorite thing to scratch is “curtains”; place to throw up is “shoes”; and thing to push off the table is “coffee cup”.

I think any cat would guess those.

I either put a “1” in front of my answer (“1human”) or just use the subject as my answer (“thing”).

what is the name of your human?

Don’t forget to keep a diary of all passwords and security questions….

It’s no fun to push keys off a table! Sure, they make a little jingly noise, but there’s no aftermath of angry, frustrated human noises like when you push off something breakable.

Dearest POTUS, we must outlaw all cat comics before they bring about Armageddon or worse fake news.

I always write down my passwords and tape them to the bottom of my keyboard.

How many times is it OK to ignore your owner? (Trick question – there is no limit!)

My cat’s answers: leather couch, mom’s bed, the dog.

Isn’t #2 often human, too? : < {

My Cyrena would have a hard time with the third question. She has never really done that sort of thing.

My cat’s favorite place to throw up is my bed where he sleeps with me. I’ve learned to wake up fast when I hear the sound of him gagging.

That second one is so so true. I keep mail order catalogs close at hand in every room so I can attempt to interdict the cookies before they hit the rug.