Phoebe and Her Unicorn by Dana Simpson for April 12, 2017

Who would want to eat anything Dakota wore?

Everything contains calories, it’s just a matter of sending it through a digestive system that can properly extract them. Which brings me to the question, how many calories are in a sock?

The goblins adore Dakota, but she just steps all over them like a tyrant.

So we take something Dakota loves to get respect from her? Got it.

Maybe the goblin will eat Dakota next time.

That’s how I handle these situations, as well.

I wish I had some way to convey the sound I hear in my head when I read “BLAART.” Trust me, it’s adorable.

It’s a little like the sound I hear in my head when I think of a T. rex, but slightly higher pitched, with the distinct B and T sounds at the beginning and end, a little more chesty than a T. rex, with undertones reminiscent of a toad. See? Adorable.

(Please note I have never seen a Jurassic Park movie, so the sound a T. rex makes in my head is in no way derived from any sound heard in those movies. Yes, really, I have never seen a Jurassic Park movie. I read the book and have seen enough clips and spoofs over the years that I think I have the gist of things.)

ATE HER SOCKS??!? erp! I HAVE to stop eating breakfast while I’m reading comics!

To paraphrase “FreeFall’s” Sawtooth Rivergrinder: “My queen used to call me a stupid, stinky little goblin. Not anymore. Now she calls me a stupid, stinky little goblin who ate her socks.”

“He ate her socks in retaliation.”

That’s not retaliation, that’s masochism!

blart