New Adventures of Queen Victoria by Pab Sungenis for January 22, 2017

You were wrong.

Obviously, you’ve never seen Super Bowl 48…

So Her Majesty is a Pittsburgh fan. Just another reason to love her.

Here’s another one:

After the “Goldilocks incident,” Mama and Papa Bear’s marriage went into a downward spiral, and they eventually decided to get a divorce. The judge asked Baby Bear if he wanted to live with Mama, and he said, “Please, no — she beats me!” The judge then asked if Baby Bear wanted to live with Papa, and he said, “No, he beats me even more!” “Well, you must live with someone,” said the judge, “Do you have any other relatives?” “I have an aunt who lives in Chicago,” said Baby Bear, “I can stay with her.” “Are you sure that she won’t beat you?” asked the judge. “Yes, sir,” said Baby Bear, “The Chicago bears don’t beat anybody!”

Parvum pro nihil habetur

You have to beat the spread, too. (Whatever that means.)

So, one night back in 1773, some Sons of Liberty decided to protest taxes by dumping a shipment of British tea into Boston Harbor. However, a couple of thieves had joined the group, intending to make off with the tea and sell it (since they were outlaws anyway, they really didn’t give a hoot about the tax issue.) Upon realizing that the tea was already thrown overboard, the furious thieves pounded the snot out of the Sons of Liberty. …..

Moral? Stealers beat Patriots!

On the up side – today is Victoria’s “death anniversary” so she can now breath easy for awhile, at least until 14 December.

Back to Wolsey’s monk now: After his whipping, the monk decided that he would not get caught again. So he acquired a trained bird of prey, and tried to teach the bird to retrieve the bread and bring it to him. However, the bird kept dropping the bread and the monk lost his temper and whipped the poor creature.…..

Stealers beat Falcons! (I’ll be here all week, folks!)

It’s 8-year-old strips like this that screw with the space-time continuum.