Reality Check by Dave Whamond for November 24, 2016

7. Kick every bucket I see.

8. Always say “Alls you need is…” and “renumeration” when you pay people

9. Begin every argument or rebuttal with “Irregardless.”

10. Start every second sentence with “As I was saying”.

11. Post daily on the GoComics site.

Wait, nevermind…….

3b. Say “literally” when you clearly mean something … well … literally!

to all the above comments: Well done!

12. Start every answer with “So” and be sure to go up in pitch on the last word.

Not all who wander are lost.

Not all who troll are on the Internet.

2b. But most nincompoops prefer to pass gas on the elevator.

It sounds more like a daily ‘things to do’ list….

Start every sentence with “You know!” – especially when it is in reply to a question11

Say “should of” instead of “should have.”

Throw in a liberal amount of ‘likes’ – especially with the ‘you knows’.

When you’re telling people about something in the past, use “I sez.”

Fortunately, I don’t need anybody else’s fingers and toes to count the number of people I knew like this. (Sixteen years retired, a virtual hermit, and loving it.)