Basic Instructions by Scott Meyer for July 22, 2010

And that Barbie doll was elected governor of Alaska; everyone’s heard about Caribou Barbie.

Must be Nancy Pelosi– Botox Barbie.

Barbie goes to Washington, with briefcase and palm pen.

Who here is old enough to remember the “Happy to Be Me” dolls from the 80s? They were made as a realistic alternative to Barbie, with proportions more in line with what a real woman would have.

Kids didn’t want realistic. “Happy to Be Me” went out of production quickly, and Barbie is still here.

Sheik Yerbouti, good one. I was going to make that comparison too, but you beat me to the punch.

To the depths of the shallow, exploring the outer fringes of mediocrity.

The first time I saw a Barbi doll I was sure there must be batteries somehow involved.

Barbie so often leads to cheerleading, cosmetics, and Republicanism

It helps to realize that John W. Ryan, the man who “designed” the Barbie doll, used to design missiles before he went to work for Mattel. He certainly got those warheads in place.

I put the word designed in quotes because Barbie was actually adapted from a German doll called “Bild Lilli” without paying any royalties to the originator (five years after Barbie went on sale, Mattel eventually ponied up and bought the rights)..