Phoebe and Her Unicorn by Dana Simpson for April 23, 2015

I was great at dodging, and focused on that. Rarely threw a ball.

I loved dodgeball, but I was only good at the dodging part. I couldn’t throw to save my life, so the end of the game was always me being the last survivor from my team while a horde of enemies across the line tried to take me down.

If Phoebe had five fingers she might still have had five more grievances.

GIrl, you’re crazier than Star, and that’s say a lot.

My dodgeball plan when I was a kid: get hit first so I can sit it out.

I have trouble processing “Declan” as a real first name.

I hope they still aren’t choosing teams like that, it hurts to be last.

Just enjoy it Phoebe.

I would always:

Pretend to be hit in the first barrage, then go into the bleachers to sit the rest of the game out.

I was so used to being last it made no sense to do this line of thought.

We sat in a particular order (alphabetical) for roll call in 6th grade gym and the girls on the left were somehow the larger ones who played sports and the right half the small nerds. I think the alphabetical order went left to right in each row. But for dodgeball the teams were always down the middle from front to back. We were creamed once a week at least. Other games they did the choosing teams, and I was always one of the last… the game where you knew you’d be hit with balls for 45 minutes, always on the team without a chance