Arlo and Janis by Jimmy Johnson for January 28, 2015

Awe, now I want to go out to have a lovely dinner….

WHY do people do this? I had a FB friend who would take a photo of every single lunch and dinner she ate a a restaurant.

I was at a restaurant in San Francisco many years ago (way before Instagram was common) and noticed the meal I had was the same curried chicken pieces on a skewer my hotel restaurant served, but now bathing in a wonderfully tasty soup/spa. I took a photo and a lady at the table next to me spoke loudly (to my momentary embarrassment), “Did you just take a picture of your food?!?!” Caught myself and said, “Yes, my chef at my hotel might be interested in adding this to the menu.” She shut up, the server gave me some tips on recipe and presentation (since I was on the other side of the continent and no competition), the chef saw the display when I returned. and his version was on the menu for a couple of seasons. [Curried skewered chicken in a simple but yummy veggie cream soup – big hit with the locals as well as the tourists.]

.

It’s when the patrons are chatting and texting pre-ordering (“oh, we’re not ready yet, yak tap yak tap yak tap”) and lingering 90 minutes over a cup of cold coffee whilst yak-tapping when others are waiting for a table that cell phones in restaurants get annoying. One quick pic of the meal pre-gustation (I try to add in a photo of the menu so I know where I ate this), mangé, pay and tip and thank, and out.

I never understood why people will fly many miles on vacation and take a picture in front of some famous or beautiful landmark but crowd the whole family in front of it so you can’t make it out.

or at least they think they exist

A variation on the tap-tap-tap at the restaurant are the people at the Y who check their phones between – and during – sets, tying up the machines while the rest of us stand in line waiting. I will sometimes ask – quite innocently, of course – “Do you use that to keep track of your workouts?” It generally gets them moving.

I always thought servers were trained to wait until you have a mouthful before asking about the food. But then I also wanted to just spit out the food and say ‘Why do you ask?’

Photoshop is cheaper than vacation.“And here’s me with Putin and his horse. This one’s me and Queen Liz 2. Here’s me helping a Klingon changing out his warp drive. (The impulse engines were sputtering but she said they’d hold up long enough to reach Deep Space 51.) Here’s me and Gandalf eating lunch with James Bond and Nelson Mandella. Now on the SECOND day of my vacation, you can see me….”

Guilty. But in my defense, it was a REALLY good steak!

I digitized some old movie reels from my grandparents and I would say 50% was film of the dinner table (minus guests). This isn’t really new. We just have different tech.

Is that a cellphone in his pouch?

Taking a picture of food can be a compliment but I’ve never gotten into that habit at restaurants. I figure someone can look them up online to see a picture. I do sometimes take pictures of new recipes that I cook myself.

How about it Arlo takes a pic of the results of the meal tomorrow and e-mails it back to the waiter for his viewing enjoyment. Yeah, yeah gross idea I know but an option given the inanity of the question.

Oh, how gauche.

During my ten years in the food and beverage industry I met a lot of fine chefs…They all agreed that “Hunger is the best sauce”…..They also pointed out to me that poultry seasoning has 9 ingredients…Add salt and pepper and what do you have? 11 not so secret herbs and spices…Any comment, Colonel?

Hilarios!

I’m suddenly reminded of this video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIRBxRlsYR0

Guilty.