Heart of the City by Steenz for January 26, 2015

I had my oral surgery (wisdom teeth) during my senior year of high school. It was spring break, but I still had my college class; mi clase de español para ser exacto.

I had teeth out when I was nine because there wasn’t room for them. I still had to get impacted wisdom teeth out later.

I had 11 baby teeth removed at once because they were not falling out on there own so my permanents could come in. 10 years old and looked like a toothless hobo.

Don’t worry about those things. Worry that she’ll find the Youtube videos of kids wacked on dental anesthesia getting umpteen million hits.

I just assume the worse case scenario in any Medical Procedure is Death! Then any result less that that is a Win!

I see now.

I had four wisdom teeth extracted (only time I’ve been under a general anaesthetic) and after wards my lip buzzy felt like a foot when it’s ‘fallen asleep’. I asked how long that would last and Dr said, “2”. Two says I? “2 weeks, 2 months, 2 years… hard to tell.”

Reminds me of the coworker who came to me begging and pleading not to let my wife undergo gastric bypass surgery (or was it the knee replacement? Time goes by so fast…). She was whining over how the death rate was something like 2% from the surgery. Both my wife and I were willing to take that 1-in-50 chance for the prospect of losing a lot of weight (or being able to walk again; again, I don’t remember which). And by the time we actually got to the operating table, newer reports had the risk down to less than 1 in 200 (0.5%). She’s had both knees replaced, to say nothing of the bypass, and has had no complications from any of the surgeries, thanks be to God.

College time: had to have all four wisdom teeth removed (no room for them). Really REALLY! great dentist, but he was concerned about a potential jaw paralysis (I was in college for music ed) so we agreed this would be done in a local hospital where there were more services available than in the office, should anything happen. Here I was, 19 years old, in the pediatric ward (my roommates were 8 years olds), as the regular ward was full, and the only other place was in geriatrics (average age of 80). I got through the surgery well and still have the teeth as a souvenir, although one broke and we had to wait for it to push its way to the surface – kind of a longish “L”-shaped piece.

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Side note: my sister, the artistic one in the family, took the broken piece, dressed my old Ken doll in a loincloth and glued the broken tooth to his hand, calling it “Samson with the jawbone of an a$$”. She got an A on her high school art project, but it wasn’t until a couple of years later that I finally got the meaning.

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I got my revenge on her in college: I sent her a birthday card filled with glitter (this well before the ‘glitter revenge’ website). I never told her to open it in the car…..

Just make sure the anesthesia they use is free range and organic, but I’m sure the information she got online already told her that.

The last time I had oral surgery, I was rather alarmed at the list of possible consequences. I believe it may have stopped just short of death, but broken jaw and permanent nerve damage was definitely there. If those broken wisdom teeth had been less problematic, I might have skipped the procedure!

I should add, it was done under local, general anesthesia, so coma wasn’t listed. I do not recommend having damaged teeth literally dug out that way, BTW. I’d have rather risked general, but I was at a dental school and they didn’t do that if they didn’t have to.

My foot itches a bit. I wonder what the internet thinks that means?

Internet: “You may have cancer”

Of course.