Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson for June 28, 2014
June 27, 2014
June 29, 2014
Transcript:
Rip Haywire: Whenever I take a clearly dangerous job, I open an absurd policy! Voice: Before we reluctantly kill you at the orders of a dangered villain, tell us more about that thing you mentioned. Rip Haywire: And in the case of my death... each citizen of Starlight would get a lump sum of $100,000 smackers... as a thank-you from me for lettin' me risk my life for all of you. Sadly, I'll be kaput before the policy kicks in... in a few weeks. Voice 1: Son of a... Voice 2: I coulda been rich! Voice 3: What a lousy thing to happen to us!! Voice 4: This is a travesty for us!
Kali39 almost 10 years ago
Seems a little far-thinking for Rip. Doesn’t he have to fall from a helicopter at 50,000 feet in order for it to kick in?
Chrisdiaz801 almost 10 years ago
They do realize that $100,000 doesn’t make you rich anymore.
jackianne1020 almost 10 years ago
Rip’s smarter than he looks (sometimes)
Space_cat almost 10 years ago
An no one in the crowd who has a gun could just shoot the evil cat lady when shes up there next to Rip..It’s all so simple.. “It was an accidental discharge.. I.. I.. didn’t mean to blow her brains out!”
mabrndt Premium Member almost 10 years ago
Yes, the townspeople each collect $100,000, provided Rip dies between 3:55 and 4 PM on the Fourth of July, during a hailstorm, in a stampede of wild elephants — and one baby zebra. (similar insurance policy sold once before)
Kip W almost 10 years ago
This must be his lookalike cousin, Rip Sensible.
Dragoncat almost 10 years ago
You’d think Cat Lady would’ve known about this….Oh! Right! She only collects the vile, repugnant and sleazy secrets.…Words like those are never used to describe money.