FoxTrot Classics by Bill Amend for June 10, 2014

Keep trying, Peter-nocchio.

Back off, mommy – you don’t want to know… for sure, you don’t! :)

Immediately ask to see Peter’s cell phone and check out if the battery’s dead or not.

4 hours of pizza pie, then another 2 for his honey pie.

OK, fess up, Peter, you went to the ice cream shop for the other two hours.

Actually there was a week long arc where he gained fifty pounds after eating pizza for six hours. So technically she should believe him.

After a particularly tough loss, the offensive line of my son’s football team wound up at our house. Do you know how much pizza a half dozen teenage boys can eat? Especially if they hadn’t been fed for several hours.

My son hung out with five other boys who also played sports. They called themselves “the 6-pack.” We got a call from one of other boy’s parents one day. “They were just here. They cleaned us out. We think they are heading your way.” It was like a farmer reporting an invasion of locusts.

She does too have a problem with that. She once grounded Peter for watching the “Kill Bill” movies, and she stopped Jason from watching “Game of Thrones.”

You’ve been busted, Peter.