Frank and Ernest by Thaves for April 16, 2014

…. makes no difference who you are..

Just send us the money…………if there’s any problem we’ll get back to you……………..

How much does $20 million in gold weigh anyhow? I have a back problem………….. could you send us the money by wire?

This is like the time I received a ‘phone call on my now defunct land line. The guy said my computer was infected by a virus and he could help. He’s probably still deaf from the laughter he was subjected to, and still trying to figure out exactly how he could accomplish what I suggested he do.

“I am being from Microsoft Technical Support and I am to be helping you with your virus on the computer.”

Tell it to send a bucket of star dust as evidence of good faith.

To Nigerian Star……….. Thanks for the bucket of stardust…….. I have been working all day on contacting Universe Freighting Operations (UFO) to arrange shipment of the $20 mill of gold……….. that stuff is heavy, over 1200 lbs…….. go ahead and contact them to get packing instructions and pickup time…… use this shiping address – 5687412358974566772314789653, if this route is full use this alternate one, 5668795421136987413785428534….. either one will put it on my driveway, the first address is the single car garage, the alternate one is the 2 car garage. Once it arrives, I’ll fork it inside and check the contents and note any shortage. The storage fee will be 1% per month or part of until Ernie picks it up. I’ll have the forklift available at no charge. Please let Ernie know that it has been shipped and prox arrival date. Send me a certified check to cover my fees. Thanks a lot……….. it"s been a pleasure doing business with you. If you snag another one I’ll contact UFO and make the arrangements. Have a good night……………