The Knight Life by Keith Knight for February 01, 2014

Oh good old Bild Newspaper. Only you could make such exciting headlines with only a few letters “UFO!” “S*x! TOT! DDR!” (Tot=dead and DDR = Former Eastern Germany for non-germans), I always expected them to tell me about JFK’s death in eastern germany due to sex in an UFO.

They’re bringing him out of the induced coma he’s been in for the last 3 months. Hope everything goes well for him.

But it’s read in Germany nonetheless (hey internet)

Aren’t they bringing him out of the coma now?

It’s okay, in the US head injuries are just someone’s imagination. NFL players don’t really hit their heads and get multiple concussions causing lifetime brain injuries. They make too much money for that to be a fact.

Could be worse, he could have been Nodar Kumaritashvili’d.

Too soon?