Gil Thorp by Henry Barajas and Rod Whigham for January 06, 2014

Jack Metzger must go to Marty Moon’s barber. Only in Milford do guys wear the pointed-bangs look.

In all reality, you have to give a star struck Jack credit for a good job of delivering his openning lines to Wendy. Way to go Jack.

Okay, this helps us narrow down the mysterious location of Milford. What state is it that waits until the first full week of January to start play in women’s basketball? (I can’t think of one)

Jack’s has that healthy Brylcream sheen. GilPa puts a tube in every players locker to begin the season. Kaz got a six pack.

It sounds familiar ’cause it is the name of the guy your brother said to avoid like the plague

Strike that pose! Work it, work it!

No wonder Wynn was so upset that Jack Metzger started at power forward instead of him. He’s a few inches shorter than his sister.

OK-Wynn is not going to go Tony Montana on St Fabien’s-Jack Metzger will be the recipient-SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!

P3, Wendy acts coquettish while the jug-eared Metzger pitches his wholesome 1960’s rap. It’s obvious Metzger should be way out of his league. Unless….(insert plot twist here of Wendy running from some tawdry internet porn site and wanting a “normal” life….)

P1 – another talking elbow.

His name sounds familiar because it is scribbled all over Wynn’s bedroom wall “Jack Metzger Must Die!” all around the dartboard with Jack’s picture on it.

This’ll get them talking in the teacher’s lounge.