The Dinette Set by Julie Larson for January 10, 2014

AUTObiographies, is it? Well, I’ve gone out to find myself. If I should show up before I arrive, please hold me ’til I get there…

More than they taught you Burl.

I’m beginning to wonder why Patty goes to their house. I would make an excuse, ANY excuse not to visit. (I’m sorry I can’t come over, I seem to have come down with Leprosy)

If Joy was/is channeling Katherine Parr, does that make Burl a syphilitic, murderous womanizer, and who does that make Patty?

Ooh, is that an original Red Skelton painting; nah they couldn’t afford it.

The thing is, I can’t imagine the Pennys adopting a child, either….

Well, unless there were a two for one sale at the orphanage…. but then they’d have twins, wouldn’t they?

No… my best guess is that Patty was an accident…waaaay back when Burl and Joy first figured out what it was that they were supposed to do….but still didn’t know what that activity could lead to..

They’d only been married about 15 years at that point… and they wondered why Joy was getting so fat (besides the Twinkies and Ho Hos).

When Patty was six. her pediatrician explained to Joy how what they had done six years ago had caused a baby to be created….so they decided that if they ever remembered how to do it again, they wouldn’t.

I bet the clown wishes he were hanging on someone else’s wall.. They did move him from the door wall to the living room. Now he can see more. Not that he wants to..

Burl and My dad could be buds

Vicariously?

Perhaps an explanation was Patty arrived sometime after that handyman guy fixed the screen door.

I think Pattie is Julie’s alter-ego. She has to get in there once and a while because even she can’t stand it…

Joy still has her head, so she can’t be Anne Boleyn. So she must be Catherine of Aragon, which would make Patty, Mary.

Maybe Patty hung out around “average” people while growing up? Like a school chum 3 blocks over that was outside Crustwood city limits.

I won’t be coming over to visit much anymore, ma. My AUTO-immune system is killing my Penny genes and I would hate to see that affect the both of you. It could have a terrible effect on your super intelligence.

Regarding Patty, I think this may be evidence that a mother should eat high fat and sugar during pregnancy. Wonder if Joy was one of those mothers that didn’t know she was pregnant until bad case of indigestion just hours before the baby came?

I’ve actually put forward this theory before and see no reason to change it now. Joy couldn’t think of another way to make Burl commit. We once saw their wedding pic and Joy was even bigger than she is now. I wonder why Verla hasn’t figured this out yet.I also agree with timrinaldo. Patty gives Julie a chance to put in a voice of reason.

Patty: Gosh, I’d come over, but my I’M WITH STUPID T-shirts are all in the wash!! Snark! SNARK!!

How can you write an autobiography about a person? In third grade, I wrote an autobiography about the family’s 52 Plymouth.

I don’t think Joy will ever become Ma (she needs a little intelligence just to become that snarky), and Patty will definately not become Joy; something has to have happened to those genes

(but I had very little in common with my parents, other than political views, that no longer matter to me). I learned to cook mostly because my mother’s cooking was SO BAD – so MAYBE that is what happened to Patty. The over-riding stupidity, selfishness, etc. made her go the opposite direction (if this is the case she’s in no danger).

I once had to read a biography for book report (and could find none in our small library that interested me) so I wrote a report on a non-existent person of my own invention;

I don’t remember whether I was discovered (I got away with all kinds of shenanigans back then).I frequently forged the signatures of my teachers just to evade “study halls” because I used to prefer to study with music from the juke box across the street. I was just as skinny as I am now, drinking lots of (sugar)Pepsi and hot dogs for lunch with chips.