Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for July 09, 2005

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling Hollywood Tales Tom Cruise in "Majority Retort" Tom Cruise: YAWN What should I do today? Tom Cruise: Oh, yeah! I've got to publicize my new movie! SNAP Tom Cruise: Wish me luck, Katie! Here I go... Tom Cruise: Don't you know that psychiatry is evil and dangerous? It's obvious! TV Man: ? Tom Cruise: Of course aliens exist! There's one living inside you right now? Talk Show Host: ? Tom Cruise: Gosh! What's up with all this bad press? Tom Gone Nuts! Tom Cruise: Oh, L. Ron! They just don't understand Scientology! L. Ron Hubbard: Don't worry, Tom! That' will change! L. Ron Hubbard: When I started Scientology, I recruited celebrities for a reason! POOF Tom Cruise: Wow! It was all just a bad dream! Butler: Mr. Cruise, it's time to leave for your swearing-in. Tom Cruise: I dreamt it was still 2005, and Scientology wasn't the majority American religion yet. Butler: Veddy good, sir. Tom Cruise: OK, Scalia. I'm ready to become president and high Scientology priest of the United States of Thetanland. CRUISE TRAVOLTA '08 WE HEART SCIENTOLOGY DIANETICS ONE NATION UNDER L. RON Judge Scalia: Grrr...I should have supported separation of church and state while I had the chance! END