Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for December 07, 2002
Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling Yes, the Republicans mysteriously added a provision to the landmark Homeland Security Act that will protect pharmaceutical companies from lawsuits related to vaccines that may have caused autism in children. But there is no shame in that. There is a revered tradition of pro-business tidbits getting sprinkled into historic legislation, going back many, many millenia... The Untold Story of...The NINE COMMANDMENTS Moses: I must take these nine commandments to my people! Man: Psst...Moses! Man: I've got this greeting card business. Look--this one plays music when you open it... Moses: I'm in kind of a rush. Man: Mother's Day and Father's Day are big selling opportunities. It's a big boost for the economy. Moses: So? Man: So...our entire nation would benefit if we could ADD a commandment about honoring thy mother and father! Moses: I...don't know! Man: Listen, when we get to the promised land, you're gonna be in a power struggle with tribal elders... Would these GOLD COINS help? Man: Whaddaya say? Is it too late to make a little change to the commandments? Moses: Well, THEY'RE not written in stone... Now Presenting...THE TEN COMMANDMENTS! Man: Psst...Moses! Er...in ALMOST final form... NEXT: Legislative pork IS kosher Man: I've had some factory problems -- could we take "...and thou shalt not harm children" out of #6? Moses: Hmm...a simple "Thou shalt not kill" IS zippier...
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