The Elderberries by Corey Pandolph and Phil Frank and Joe Troise for May 18, 2021
The Professor: So...this woman you met online thinks you're a cowboy with a Harvard education? Dusty: Don't yell at me! I need you to write to her for me, Perfessor! She'll think I'm well-educated. The Professor: Dusty!! That is an ignominious, loathsome and pernicious idea!! Dusty: That's perfect! Now you just set here and write that down and I'll sign it!