Ted Rall for October 10, 2005
Transcript:
Faced with growing shortages of popularity, George W. Bush is forced to act. (George Bush: I, like many Americans, have felt the pinch of a tight popularity market. Therefore I am releasing surplus popularity points from the strategic popularity reserve.) The strategic popularity reserve is set aside during periods of plentiful popularity so that shortfalls can be alleviated when they arise. (George Bush: I already feel less liked.) (Woman: You had a 90% approval rating. You were smart to put aside 15% for a rainy day.) Some pollsters worry, however, that tapping the reserve to counter minor shortfalls sets a dangerous precedent. (Man 1: Rising popularity prices require us to suck up to achieve the same likability previously obtained through charm. But if we tap our reserve no, how will we handle full-fledged hatred?) (Woman 2: Dinner's ready. Jerkoff.) Fortunately, the Bush administration is staffed by experienced veterans of the popularity industry. (George Bush: But we're reviled.) (Man 2: We learn from failure. Sign here and boost yourself up to "tolerated."