Ted Rall for May 20, 2000
A day in the life of Al Gore The vice presidency isn't just a way of life. It's a job. Come on, Al. Let's play that game where you're captain smith and I'm Pocahontas. Too risky. She's old, but not so old that she might not get preggers. Get up, you slug! You have a cabinet meeting! No. Too risky. Bad things happen out there! So I think a 3/8% rise in the fed funds rate would be prudent. Are you people nuts? Do you know how risky it is to hold this meeting in the white house? It's a terrorist target! Dying of earthen, parched thirst... can't drink water... too risky... might pass gallstone... If elected, I'd bomb the hell out of anyone who messed me! Bush is an idiot! You should destroy him! Hmmm... Is it risky to destroy a risky guy?