Ted Rall for July 24, 1999
Transcript:
Sometimes death is only the beginning... Celebrity death match On the left I'm JFK Jr.! And I'm DI, you fool! On the right One wrong turn into Martha's vineyard and a new celebrity post-mortal rocks the afterlife! And that was after Dodi and I did a pile of coke! Stand back and weep, ho- JFK Jr. is here! There isn't room in the gloomy haze of death for the two of us, John-John! Fine with me, Di! We're all bored with your anorexic slut routine anyway! I'm the lovable commoner martyred by cynical royals - and George is a light-weight rag! I resent that! While my attempt to interest Americans in politics may have been misguided, I did the best I could! No doubt, my American friend - as you did on your bar exam! Why don't you go back where you came from - teaching kindergarten! Soon a newcomer unites the princess and the editor... Ronald Reagan!?! Greetings, has-beens! I'm dead, lucid, and ready to cut your budgets!