Ted Rall for April 04, 1998
Transcript:
God's publicist called with some bad news. (Woman: Sorry to do this to you, big guy, but your book is suffering massive returns. Unless you want to go out-of-print, you'd better go out on tour.) Typically, the book tour went poorly. (Man 1: We weren't really sure where to stock it- sociology? Philosophy? Finally we put it with the essay collections.) As usual, none of the critics understood what God was trying to do. (Man 2: it's easy to criticize sinning... but you don't offer any viable alternatives!) God tried working the talk shows, but it hurt his credibility. (Man 3: But you didn't even write this thing!) (God: Yeah, but I inspired it.) Big chains were too scared to risk the controversial book. (Man 4: It's an important book.) (Man 5: Forget it- it endorses human sacrifice!) Finally, God pulled a few strings, and the day was saved. (Woman 2: Today's guest on Oprah's Book Club: God!) (God: Hi. So- I hear that John Grisham was smitten.)