Rudy Park by Darrin Bell and Theron Heir for March 17, 2011
Dear Sadie, Who does your hair? I can never seem to get enough lift, even though I tease it mercilessly. Sincerely, Stella *(Actual reader letter) Sadie says, "Stella, your hair will remain as flat and boring as you are until you let loose with your inner truth. You're a flat-haired, whiny, self-conscious tart who needs to free yourself of societal nonsense!" Rudy says, "So your hair is filled with inner truth?" Sadie says, "Mostly crisco oil. A full can. Inner truth adds the zest." Rudy says, "Explains the outer stink."