Rudy Park by Darrin Bell and Theron Heir for March 10, 2010
So the exotic coffee wars raged. House of Java (our fine establishment) began with the Panda Mocha, prompting Coffee King to respond with the Iberian Lynx Latte, and then the back-and-forth: recycled hemp green tea; mom's bundt cake cappucino (made by real moms); organic gravel cafe. It took a toll on the creative minds running local cafes and national chains, and on the pocketbooks of an already fiscally challenged consumer base. But one toll was not so obvious... To get the panda-hair extract for the panda mocha, Rudy and sidekick Mortkey kept sneaking into the local zoo, and that meant a heart-rending crush, unrequited. Mortkey says, "Come away with me and live without the cages and with cable access and Larry King!"