Rudy Park by Darrin Bell and Theron Heir for December 30, 2003
"Every year I make a New Year's resolution and every year I let myself down." "In fact, most years, it's like a curse. I actually do the opposite of what I vow to improve." "Hence, my working theory for 2004..." "I vow to put on 10 pounds in chocolate!" "I vow to stop obsessing about you, my darling."