Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson for June 22, 2013
Rip: Tahiti Jones! Master: That's right, you nimcompoop! Now go retrieve me the tiki, or else this luscious fire-top gets filled with lead! Rip: But the tiki's cursed! If I touch it, I'll become even more evil and soulless than you! Master: Cool! We could hang out! I've longed to show someone my pog collection! Breezy: Rip, don't do it! That pog collection will annihilate your soul!