Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson for June 12, 2012
Cobra has a dangerous blast from her teenage past! Boy: That's one down. Cobra: Look out! Behind you - a walking beard with a gun! Boy: Quick question - if that jerk-faced pirate was a number on a clock- Cobra: Uhhh - nine! Boy: Ka-pling! Get behind me, sugar bullet! Pirate: Argh! Bested by a scrawny, pimple-faced teen! Next time I see you, you're deader than the guy who I stole this beard from! Boy: Give me the keys to your boat! And they're not pimples, it's a rash! I'm allergic to scurvy!