Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson for January 19, 2012
Man: Let me escape, and I'll save you - it's win-win! Rip: I can't break my rigid ethical code! It's stronger than my will to live and my lactose intolerance! Man: If it'll ease your mind - I was framed and sent to prison. Rip: Willows bend with the breeze - Haywires don't! Whoaa!! Man: A man like you shouldn't make a ka-splat-noised death. Rip: That's what I'm always sayin'!