Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson for October 29, 2011
Jack: Tsk. Tsk. Bliss, really. Trying to run away from me on my river - Bliss: Where's Rip, you devil!? Jack: Tsk. Tsk. I find your attitude toward me quite disheartening, especially since our love was blossoming so well. Rip Haywire is dead, or will be shortly. Take them to the pirate camp! Bliss: Oh poor Rip! What can we do for him, Dutch? Dutch: Zip it, yah lovesick harlequin, you and me ain't exactly headin' to the Ritz-Carlton!