Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for April 06, 2020
important dates for next year january 4-25. winter weather panic shopping krazy daze! jan. 12. power outage. big ice storm! jan. 14 power outage tree falls down! jan. 17. power outage. a dog bites the wire! jan. 23 power outage. he does it again! february 15. tedious timekilling hobby day man: i collect squished pennies. woman: i download rare & exotic smileys, like this prancing lemur smiley from madagascar. march 3. anything can happen day! barricade yourself in the closet with a mattress & a few magazines until tomorrow. march 15. the ides of march. roman 1: i have one of the best collections of shot glasses in the roman empire! roman 2: that was last month! march 31. wool allergy awareness day. sheep: fine. i'm leaving. goodbye. april 2. april fools' day observed. banks closed. atms spit seltzer. guy: agk atm ha ha may 20. begin violin lessons day. eenk eenk eenk eenk june 22. stop violin lessons day. eenk eenk eenk eenk oop: stop.