Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for February 29, 2020

Transcript:

restaurant closings the following establishments have been closed for health code violations. ice cream 346 346 flavors ice cream - several suspicious flavors (spongesqueezing, maybeberry, death by vanilla, thingy & countertop) listed merely to boost the total to 346. lugubrio's since 1904 lugubrio's - grim edifice & decay-ing waitstaff prompted patron complaints of anxiety & depression. also, gaping hole blown through salad bar sneezeguard. mughraeibhnaorheach - undeter-minable ethnicity - scandinavian? gaelic? urdu? plus most dishes on menu contain gravel, silt or pumice. homerule authentic d.c. cuisine homerule authentic d.c. cuisine - there is no such thing, not since they closed down all the "little taverns."