Old farmer Paddy had a wife who nagged him unmercifully, from morning ‘til night , she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule to plant potatoes. Therefore he plowed a lot:One day, when old Paddy was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began nagging him again. Complain, nag, complain, nag – it just went on and on. All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet, caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spotAt the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd. When a woman mourner would approach old Paddy, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement, but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement.This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask about it. So after the funeral, the minister spoke to old Paddy and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men.Old Paddy said. "Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I’d nod my head in agreement.:“And what about the men?” The minister asked.“They wanted to know if the mule was for sale.”
So this blonde walks into a bank in central London and asks to see the manager. She says she’s going to Hong Kong on business for two weeks and needs to borrow £5,000.The manager says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a brand new Ferrari.The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.The manager and the tellers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a £200,000 Ferrari as collateral against a £5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Ferrari into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there.Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the £5,000 and the interest, which comes to £17.41.The manager says. “Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a millionairess. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow £5,000?”The blonde replies. “Where else in central London can I park my car for two weeks for only £17.41 and expect it to be there when I return?”
Good luck with your new family members, I hope the health problems are not too extreme.
This week I don’t have a joke, just some good news (for my family). My son and his wife moved to the county. They have gone on vacation to see the trees in TN put on the best color for fall, but plan on being back for good by the 24’th of the month. We can’t wait for them to be here for good. They wanted out of K.C. and renting, we wanted them near to visit. So win/win.
Thank you for letting me know that. I was worried that some of the jokes , like the 80-year-old man was a bit risque.
I do try to find jokes that are not labeled as not safe for work, as I believe those are also not safe for kids. I will try harder on that search.
I haven’t complained about you and Robin talking about things that I get lost in with just a few sentences. I’m puzzled about why you called me out?